Letter from a daughter to her mother.
My name is Esther, I’m 29 years old and a mother diagnosed with endometriosis and fibromyalgia and a history plagued with various diseases, operations and chronic pain.
I, thank God, am healthy today, but my relationship with my mother until now had been sick, and I do not want to apologize for my misunderstanding of the problem by claiming ignorance, but I would like to call attention to what the disease represents for the sick and their environment.
Because I, without being ill with endometriosis, also feel indignant with society, with institutions because my family has been “ill”, when I was 10 years old I became aware that my mother was not normal, she was not like other mothers, now I am a woman and I have understanding but at that age, they operated on my mother’s gallbladder, I had to stay at my aunt’s house for a few days and I missed her very much, but it didn’t end there, it all started because from that moment on I only remember my mother who was tired, sick, always bad, always in pain, with headaches, depressions that came and went, visits to the doctor, operations… When I was 17 years old she had her last operation and they took everything away from her, well, what was left. My mother spent nearly two months in hospital, two months! and when she came out I didn’t understand anything, it seemed that her brain had been moved, she cried without stopping at all, she was more tired and irritable than usual, she complained about everything, she was never 100% ready to listen to me… I tell my point of view but of course she couldn’t do anything else, it wasn’t an act of will and she also felt misunderstood.
I would like that some of the gentlemen who told my mother a thousand times that she had nothing, that some of those who are deaf to the existence of this disease had lived with her and that she came now to say that she had nothing, that pain is normal and a thousand stupid things that make you cry to heaven. With an early diagnosis everything would have been different. Now she has been diagnosed, but that will not give her organs back, nor will it make us recover from one day to the next all the years of incomprehension on both sides. She because there came a time when she began to think that she would be going crazy when she was told that it was nothing when her body, which was wise, was giving her constant warning signs, because in her family, by not diagnosing her, her daughter thought that she did not want to do anything with her because she did not want to, and that was it, that she was always sick, that her mother was always complaining.
What treatment, ladies and gentlemen of the institutions and medicine will you give to another disease that is also linked to endometriosis? Because even if the diagnosis does not give my mother back her organs or the lost years of incomprehension, it has given her and me a new opportunity to understand each other, to unite, to look at each other again with love and with new eyes. Early diagnosis is fundamental not only to save the organs but also to cure other pains such as the incomprehension that causes so much harm to the sick and to the people who love them. She already knows what she has and at least she feels that she is not a storyteller, that she is not crazy, that her pain is not invented. I know she has it and maybe she is not like other mothers, of course not, mine is special to me only because she faced her pain to bring me into the world and to get me through it even if she could not do many other things. Today I want to thank her for everything and tell you that even though I am not sick like her, like you, solidarity makes me join you because wherever a woman suffers, as a woman I have the commitment to join the struggle. Kisses to everyone and cheer up!